I’ve been a fan of Susan Jeffers’ self-help classic, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway®’, first published in 1987. It genuinely changed my life and set me on a path that has taught me probably the ten most important lessons of my life.
I’ve learnt that:
- Fear is learnt. We teach ourselves (or let ourselves be taught) to be fearful. Fear can either hold us back from reaching our full potential, or it can spur us on to live the life we want.
- Fear isn’t always negative I’ve built my self-confidence by doing the thing I fear. By confronting difficult situations and decisions head-on, I’ve proved to myself that I can handle it.
- I have a choice. Unsurprisingly, choosing to focus on the positives in my life makes me feel a lot better than focussing on the negatives. That will sound blindingly obvious, but I, like many other people, needed to have that pointed out to me.
- People can give you energy, or sap it from you. It helped me to recognise that some people bring me down, taking too much from me, whilst other people add to my life experience and energies.
- Blame gets you nowhere. I used to play the blame game, but now I accept that I’m responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. I realise that it’s not what happens to me, but how I choose to react to situations that shapes who I am.
- Good or bad, my reactions are true. I can still see my ‘dark side’ through my reactions to situations. The difference now however, is that I recognise myself and work to get rid of anything that makes me fearful by tackling it head on.
- No one is perfect. We are all driven by our egos, the internal force that makes us believe we are either inferior or superior individuals. I now have compassion for people who are arrogant and bullish because they battle with higher levels of self-fear than most people.
- I can make a difference. Reading ‘Feel the Fear ’ made an enormous impact on my life, so much so that I decided to deliver the message to individuals and organisations. It makes my heart sing when I meet people, often years later, whose lives are better for having taken the ‘Feel The Fear’ message on board.
- I can achieve my goals. I practised what I preach and became the world’s most successful trainer of ‘Feel The Fear’ techniques. I worked with Susan Jeffers twice in Los Angeles and helped build the brand with her husband, Mark.
- Every experience is an opportunity to learn. You can either let your experiences destroy you, or you can let them define your strength.Thanks to Mark Shelmerdine, husband of the late Susan Jeffers. Many years ago, it was Mark who licensed me as a programme trainer, and has always encouraged me to follow my own path.If you’d like to know more about how ‘Feel The Fear’ helped me to realise that I can handle it, go to my website (www.rachael-alexander.com) and you can also connect with me on Linkedin (Rachael Alexander) or Twitter (I Can Handle It UK)